Single In New York...

Why must dating be so complicated at times? Can’t things just go smoothly? You meet a guy, you connect, you exchange numbers, go out one night, you either like him or you don’t, he either likes you or he doesn’t. Simple as that.

I wish.

There’s all sorts of factors that come in to play that people don’t take into account if they’re not single themselves. My sister thinks that since I have been single since February I should be settled down with someone else by now. Not as easy as it sounds. Plus, I’m not even really sure that I want to settle down with someone at this moment in my life.

“I don’t understand why he wouldn’t call you back!” She screams out of anger. She’s even more upset about than I am. All I did was shrug my shoulders and say oh well.

“No big deal. He’s just not that into me. Plently of fish in the sea.”

“Yea… But… Why wouldn’t he be into you? You’re smart, funny, beautiful, caring. I could go on and on.”

“Please don’t.” She gives me that look. You know the one. Where she’s thinking “I really could go on and on, but I know you don’t believe me, and you’re an idiot for not believing me.”

“It’s really not a big deal. I wasn’t so into him either. I mean he was great and all. Nothing negative or unattractive about him. He really did have the whole package.”

“So what was the problem?”

“No spark. No connection. That, and he obviously wasn’t that into me. That’s kind of important.”

“He’s stupid. If he can’t see how great you are, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

“That doesn’t make him stupid. It just means that we are not compatible. For all I know he did think I was great and I’m just not his type.”

“How are you not his type? You’re EVERYONE’S type! You’re perfect.”

“No one is perfect. And honestly? I could go on about this forever, but I really just don’t feel like it. It’s not even a big deal. I don’t even care.”

She lets out a sigh of frustration. “His loss.”

“Whatever you say.” I roll my eyes when she’s not looking. Why is she making a big deal about it? We went on two dates for Christ’s sake! And I don’t even care. It’s not like I was upset and she was trying to be a good sister by siding with me and bashing him behind his back. I was actually defending him. Probably because I’ve been in his shoes before.

It is possible to be a good person, smart, funny, ambitious, kind, a not bad to look at to meet someone who has all the same qualities and just not click. I understood it, I don’t know why she couldn’t. Not everyone has to like to me. And I don’t have to like everyone.

My sister has been in a serious relationship with the same guy for the past seven years. No engagement so far. But we all know they will get married. They bought a house two years ago and he’s saying the reason they’re not yet married is because with the mortgage and everything he can’t afford a ring right now. She doesn’t even want a ring. Or a big wedding. But he insists on a ring.

She’s twenty-seven years old. So she hasn’t been single since she was twenty. And before that she dated a guy for two years. With no other men in between the two. So she has no clue what the dating world is like. So I suppose I can be understanding of her whole take on it. The only things she knows about dating she learns from me – her little sister – or movies, which, let’s face it, are not a good source of knowledge.

I’ve got three dates this weekend. She thinks that’s a little excessive.

“What happens if you really like one of them? Then what of the other two?”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.”

What can I say? I like to keep my options open.