Single In New York...

Why do people feel so sorry for us single gals? I personally don’t think we have it that bad. Sure it would be nice to have a certain someone to share special times with, to turn to when we need support, and to come home to every night. But it’s not a tragedy that we haven’t found that person yet. Sure, we’re have our relationships along the way (well… some of us have). There’s been good times and bad times. Life lessons and experiences. Learning, growing, and changing. But everything happens for a reason. Maybe I’m not meant to be with someone right now. Maybe I need to worry about myself and my dreams and my ambitions for a change. I have more than once put my needs aside to tend to someone else. And I believe this is my time to shine. This time it’s for me. And that may sound selfish, but for someone like me, I think it’s necessary. We can’t keep neglecting ourselves to help others. It’s just not fair.

I do miss having a special someone that I could depend on everyday. But I also need to depend on myself. Because nothing is guaranteed. There’s no telling what could happen. When all is said and done, the only people I can truly depend on are myself and my family. Relationships end. There’s no stopping it. Sure, you can have your soul mate and be together forever. But there is no such thing as forever. As bitter as it sounds, someone has to die first. I’ve learned this at an early age. I watched my father in despair as he buried his one true love, his soul mate, his best friend. My mother. Neither of them thought their marriage would be so short. But it taught me that no matter what, there is no promise that someone will always be there for you to look after you, help you, guide you, care for you. You have to be prepared for the unexpected. Because you don’t want to be put in a vulnerable situation. You can always count on yourself. And that’s all there is to it. 

I do hate coming home to an empty apartment every night. I have my dog. That always helps. But it can feel very lonely. I have been living on my own for the past almost five years. (Yes, I moved out an early age. And not by choice.) But I have always had a roommate or lived with a boyfriend. This is my first time living by myself. It can be kind of nice. No one to clean up after other than myself. No one to answer to if I don’t to the dishes until the next day. Electric, water, and phone bill has dropped dramatically. I can have friends over for drinks and not worry about someone in the other room trying to sleep. (The Ex never hung out with my friends. He always just went to bed when they would come over and then bitch and moan in the morning about how we were loud, and up late, and he was trying to sleep, and we made a mess, yada yada yada. He never liked any of my friends. Well, that’s not true. He obviously liked one of them. He liked her a lot more than I would have liked.)

I feel that I am some-what lucky to be single right now. I think this might be the best time of my life to be single. Now I can do the things I want without feeling like I’m being held down. I can travel. I can pick up and move on a whim if I want to. (And I do want to.) I am free to just go out and about and do the things that single females my age do. (Without the sleeping around. I just don’t have it in me. Maybe I’m prude for it, but I can’t sleep with someone unless there is some significant kind of connection.)

I don’t know about all you other ladies, but I am enjoying the single life.

….For now anyway.